A Look Into The “Not Like Other Girls” Phenomenon
“You’re not like other girls.” It’s a statement meant to be interpreted as a compliment, meaning that one is “different” from the stereotypical girl, who enjoys makeup, pink, and shopping. However, it’s far from being positive; the statement puts down other women and infers that “other girls” are inferior or boring. It reinforces age-long negative stereotypes about women. By subtly rewarding and supporting masculine traits, the phrase further roots and promotes sexism.
If someone says “they aren’t like other girls” then what would that say about other girls? It’s a back-handed “compliment”. This is even a trope in the media; in films, we can see the “cool girl” or the “quirky girl.” It’s great to see individualized personalities in the entertainment industry, but the problem is that some of these roles enforce sexist stereotypes. In The Princess and the Frog, Naveen's attempt to propose to Tiana includes him saying that, rather than being like the "thousands" of women that he's gone out with, Tiana's different because she's "one of the guys".
“I’m not like the other girls” is often displayed in one’s clothing.
In pop culture and even social media, this phenomenon is rife. Consider the “bruh girl” versus the “uwu girl,” which first appeared on Tiktok. The “bruh girl” would be “one of the guys”, whereas the “uwu girl” would be into more stereotypically girly things. Similarly, the “relatable quirky teenager” has been extremely popular, and we can see this through YouTubers such as Emma Chamberlin or Haley Pham. “Not like other girls” starter packs, a collection of characteristics/items associated with being “not like other girls,” can also be found on other social media websites, showing that it has truly integrated itself into society.
The “not like other girls” phenomenon isn’t recent. It has appeared in many different forms across the decades. In the 1950s, the “greaser girl” emerged in response to the rigid conservatism of its time. Additionally, in the 1980s and 1990s, the “grunge” subculture grew in popularity, idolized for having an unapologetic attitude towards self-expression. Rejecting societal norms was more common in earlier versions of this phenomenon, while new versions of this trope mostly focus on acting “different” from feminine stereotypes.
The overwhelming hate for young women today for anything deemed “basic” had also played an integral role in the popularity of this subculture. With the invention of VSCO girls, e-girls, and more, there are countless categories of femininity. There is a simultaneous resistance to all things “basic.” On another side of the same coin, “alternative” women and girls are seen as protagonists in films, novels, and television shows. Being called “basic” is seen as an insult, but “basic” things are popular, fueling the desire to become less “basic,” and thus becoming a “not like other girls” embodiment.
Only recently has society begun to open itself to all women and the diversity that come along with them. Now, many know that the “I’m not like other girls” movement carries hints of internalized yet normalized misogyny. When girls claim that they “are not like other girls”, it suggests that this “other” type of girls are shallow, one-dimensional, and fake with no other interests besides fashion or beauty. The “not like other girls” mindset is something that can only be let go of once people acknowledge the stereotypes held against other women, even if it is subconscious. Question statements that put others down, and uplift statements that embrace the differences and similarities of all women.
Many either buy into the subculture or experience it briefly and cringe as they look back on it. It’s not always the case that the girls who adopt this trope actively try to put down their peers. However, the very act of conscious separation subliminally attacks people who do have “basic” interests. Instead of pitting women against women, people should be accepting each girl and abolishing the idea that she has to be anything except for herself. There is no cryptic collective of “other girls” existing singularly because every girl is different in their own way.
SOURCES:
“I’m Not Like Other Girls," Lauren Luna/The Bottom Line
"Why Saying ‘I’m Not Like Other Girls’ Is More Toxic Than You Think," Nishtha Bhalla/Elle
"‘You’re Not Like Other Girls’ Is An Ingrained Sexist Stereotype," Rebecca Crosby/Study Breaks
"The Problem With Saying You’re “Not Like Other Girls”," Miranda More/Medium
"Not Like Other Girls"/Tv Tropes
IMAGES:
Why does every girl say that she is not like other girls? [Quora]
TRYING DIFFERENT AESTHETICS bc i can't pick one [Youtube - Bianca Gan]
